“Luckily, I haven’t needed the ‘shit storm’ coat yet.”

Looking through other’s posts, and with plenty conversations in mind, it’s becoming more obvious that I have to adopt particular mindsets and behaviours according to situations, much like different overcoats according to the weather.

For example, I don’t tell anyone at work that I’m poly. As far as they appear to be aware, I’m single, and I’m operating a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. I haven’t felt brave enough to tell my mum or family properly either: the hint that I was, and a conversation about why I participated in an “open relationship” with Leoghann, raised such a negative reaction that I haven’t broached it since. I believe based on experience and evidence that my mum would prefer me gay rather than an “ethical slut” (thank god, as I’m bi too); while when I said the P word to my little sister, easily the most liberal of the four siblings, I got silence.

It’s understandable, I guess: my partnerships don’t just involve single men, but also include very firmly taken partners, some to the point of married – but still poly. And I can see how mono people would see it as cheating.

But... it does feel like I’m lying in a way – that I’m hiding – and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it. With the case of my mum, she’s also one of my closest friends, and it’s actually a little painful to find a topic I can’t discuss with her. I’d love a one size fits all style of being me, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.

How do you cope in different environments, and why do you hide? For ease of communication? Fear of reprisal? Do you like the secret?

Anyone welcome to comment, LJ friend or otherwise. I’m interested in finding out what other people think and have experienced.